I must be the biggest paradox of an individual (everyone likes to say these things about themselves). I’m equally as likely to get bored with living in one place as I am to cower on the bathroom floor and hyperventilate because I can’t cope with change. Is anyone out there feeling this?
On Friday, I got a couple of vaccinations. One of those happened to be for Yellow Fever. Luckily, I’m just apparently highly sensitive to all side effects that come with such things and I felt terrible all weekend. That could be due to the fact that it was unbearably hot all weekend in Edmonton, but I really believe that I had a fever to go alongside. It’s a terrible way to be when you have to move furniture and clean your oven and bathroom.
It’s funny, when you move into a place, you really have no concept of the things you will need to do when it’s time to leave. You accumulate stuff, put off cleaning underneath the oven (a bad call), and let the bulbs burn out one-by-one. Then, when it comes time to deal with all the junk, you wonder how everything went downhill so quickly–it’s only been a year, after all. Maybe it’s just me.
The other problem with moving is the irrational sense of feeling like you didn’t do enough: I never made it to this restaurant. I didn’t do this trail or visit this park or go to this region. Did I spend enough time in the mountains? Suddenly, what you did do doesn’t matter as much as what you didn’t. Even if what you did do was pretty spectacular.
There’s a lot of upheaval going on about right now and I really didn’t want to find myself neglecting this space. It’s come to be my greatest escape and comfort–the thing that’s gotten me through a very confusing time. Life is about to change again, and I honestly don’t know how things will look in a month or two or three (that’s a good thing!). Hopefully, if you’re reading this now, you’ll stick with me to see what happens.